Current favorite things

I got out of the hospital on January 3rd. Thus far, I went back to the ER that following Saturday for what ended up to be a weird UTI, had a follow-up with a general doctor from the hospital as I can’t get in with my new-to-me-PCP until May, had an appointment with my gastroenterologist who then scheduled an endoscopy and colonoscopy that was done earlier this week. I still have a visit to the hematologist in March (because the hemoglobin is going up, but my platelet levels are way high), the cardiologist in April (I had an enlarged something or another in one of my hospital scans, so I need to keep an eye on it), and finally, my PCP appointment in May.

Along with my own stuff, my grandmother entered hospice at home a few weeks ago. This requires a different kind of caregiving than before, as she is bedridden, has a catheter in, and is in her own little world most of the time. Sometimes she’s really weepy and anxious, and nothing calms her down.

So, along with working full time, all of this is challenging. But I thought I’d talk about some of my current favorite things.

1. The Death Doula Oracle. This is a deck of cards with an aesthetic that is not normally my cup of tea at all. But after having watched some walkthroughs and reviews on YouTube, I thought I’d get a copy. I love the depth of thought-provoking perspective it provides. The creator made all the images with an old-school film camera, using techniques like double exposure to get the desired layered images. Not all of the cards are pretty, but they can be thought-provoking, and meditative, and the little white book accompanying the deck is a wealth of information needed. They are the larger white cards in the picture with this post.
2. The Soul Whispers Oracle. This is a guilty pleasure deck that is not for me every single day. I like the dark backgrounds with the gold foiling and vibrant blues. On days when I’m on the edge and not really up for anything happy-clappy, I usually say something snarky back to the cards. Still, otherwise, I try to use the messages on them to embrace more love for myself and more good and positive things in my life.
3. A gorgeous piece of art made by my friend Lane. I saw another version of it online several months ago when I was deeply depressed, and it struck me hard. I remember bursting out crying. I asked her if I could order one from her, and she said “sure.” Then I thought she forgot about it as she went in a bunch of different directions. After I got out of the hospital, I got a message from her asking if I liked the colors of this, and today it showed up in the mail. It is hard to articulate why I love it so much, but, the weaving, the plant matter, the concept of embracing the idea of receiving joy…it ties up everything, from my mindset change in the hospital to the little thoughtful concepts I mull over with the cards. I am very grateful.